you have no right to hit.

Thanks for being such a horrible friend to me.

nufang:

Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don’t have to. But you probably will, because I’m hilarious. 

(via tuckhasthoughts)

sallymurphy:

when people seriously compliment me
it’s like
wow are you being 
for real 
like 
god bless you and your family 
and I hope all your dreams come true 
amen

(Source: rad-url, via -hewastheirfriend)

when im in a hotel buffet, one of the hardest questions i find hard to answer is when they ask me how i want my eggs cooked. 

i just…

they just taste so good okay.

lolzpicx:

(Source: tgwb, via hiddlemydiddle)

(Source: kittycatdaily, via fuckyeahfelines)

inadequacy:

when you try so hard but you

are never enough

i feel so inadequate

mrswincestiel:

casadelnovak:

peeing while on ur period more like

I’m sorry but I fucking died.

(Source: substiels, via thechocolatebrigade)

unicornsarecooler:

niamhtumbly:

Stop trying to make fetch happen. Fetch is never going to happen.

I literally cannot stop laughing at that caption

(Source: togifs, via dorkvader)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

vagiqua:

Rule #1 of Tumblr:

you must reblog our creator whenever he comes up on your dash

david karp looks through the notes of this post, puts all the urls he sees onto the safe list, then deletes the rest of the blogs. reblogging this post is like when the jews put the lamb’s blood on their doorposts so the angel of death wouldn’t kill their firstborns.

Must reblog for that comment

That comment, my God.. 

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

(via hellyeahmalfoy)